Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
smell my finger.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
