The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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