eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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