you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
