I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Drake has all the answers
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
