she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
this boner is exhausting
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
So squirting runs in the family.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize