Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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