Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
