no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Randomize
