playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
