It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
