Buhtt sex?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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