I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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