i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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