i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
