I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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