Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
