maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
