Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just invented taco cereal.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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