I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
