The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
