Who did Billy Mays play for?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
