Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
