I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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