3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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