I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
