So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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