Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
