also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
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