Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
