i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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