that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
