i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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