he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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