moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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