She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
