He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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