I didn't shave. On purpose
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
