i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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