she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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