haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
