So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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