hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
this hospital has no fireball
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
