I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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