it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
