Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
so much tequila, so little girl.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
