i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
