Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I didn't shave. On purpose
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
