Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
