Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
