Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
