I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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