Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
What a dumb baby whore.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
We're too hungover to prance.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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