the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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