So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
