Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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