I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
