And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
