is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I intend to get homeless drunk
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
