Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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