Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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