You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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