i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I think I am morally bankrupt
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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