I wish I could teleport
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
