brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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