So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize