She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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