Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Randomize
