I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
