i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
