He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize