im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Randomize
