Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize